Learn From Your Doubter
Dream Coach ® Step #5
How about actually learning from your doubter! For many people, this is their favorite session, believe it or not, because our obstacles can often get in the way of the others, and this step helps get rid of those obstacles. I want to give you the tools and methodologies to help you do that.
I have spent 30 years of my life developing this doubt removal system, and it absolutely works. Here’s what I know. If you have not dealt with your own doubt and you meet another doubter on the road, their doubt will magnify yours. But if you’ve dealt with your own doubt and meet another doubter on the road, by contrast, it becomes an opportunity to deepen your commitment and your conviction to your dream. When you develop the capacity to talk to anyone, anytime, anyplace, regardless of what they think or say about your dream, you’re going to have a whole new set of muscles and capacity.
In order to master manifestation, you must master enrollment. Enrollment is your ability to share your vision, your dreams, your products or services with other people in a way that gets them to hire you, maybe even invest in you. The obstacle called “not enough money” disappears. You master manifestation and you master the ability to share your vision without worrying about what other people think.
Now, the voice of the doubter is interesting. People are like, “Well, I just want to ignore that.” Well, if you ignore it, it becomes like a screaming child: it gets so loud that it’s all that you can hear, or it becomes so soft that it will unconsciously sabotage your dreams. If we turn the voice of the doubter down, it becomes the realist. And the realist wants to know what’s the plan, where are you going to get the time and where are you going to get the money?
In the early days of dreaming, though, we don’t want to be overly realistic too soon because that will squelch the passion. If you’re overly realistic in looking in your checkbook for evidence of whether or not your dream is a good idea, you’re going to compromise the dream down to what you realistically think is possible based on how much money you have. But, again, when you master enrollment, other people will help you. The ability to hear from the doubter before you tone it down to be the voice of the realist is a great tool because your doubter will give you your list of obstacles.
Every obstacle is either an internal job, a limiting belief (which I’m going to talk about in the next session) or something that requires a strategy or a plan. When you really get to see that the only thing that’s stopping you from achieving your dream is some small belief that you don’t even necessarily believe anymore, that’s a game changer. The doubter is not something to fear; it’s the voice of prudence, it has insight and wisdom. But we want to put it in its appropriate place as part of your dream team rather than something stopping you. We don’t want to put it as the visionary, because it’s going to have its doubts and fears and make your dream smaller. But it is a useful component when we’re looking at what obstacles to be concerned about. That’s what I would like to ask you to do today. When you think about your dream, I invite you to open, just for a short period of time, the voice of the doubter and see if you can come up with your list of obstacles specific to that dream. Once you write them out, I suggest bullet form, go through it intuitively, and write next to each one if it is a belief or something that requires a strategy. Some people like to add them up. Do you have more B’s (beliefs) or more S’s (strategies)? Oh, look at that! B’s and S’s. Kind of gives you a “B.S. List” doesn’t it?
Calling it a B.S. List doesn’t mean it’s not true. Obstacles are real, but sometimes we misperceive them, making them much worse than they are. The number one way that we sabotage our dreams is by projecting our fears and doubts into the dream, and we do it with three little words: “But what if?” But what if this is a bad idea? But what if I can’t really make a living doing this? Then, every time you move towards your dream, you’re also moving towards your doubt. We want to split out our dreams and our doubts. Please take a moment to write out your obstacles and just take a look. Are they beliefs, internally, something that you believe about yourself, life or your dream? Or are they things that simply require a strategy or a plan? In the next Dream Coach ® Step, we’re going to talk about your beliefs, a very fundamental and critical part to making your dreams come true.